Football predictions ain’t ma’ thing, so I’m picking the Super Bowl winner based on six categories that have nothing to do with football. Each category is worth ten points and the tiebreaker (Spoiler Alert: Count on it) nets three.
Eats- Baltimore is all about the crab cakes and BBQ. Plus, they’ve got a couple of new entries which look abso-freaking delicious. San Francisco has fish tacos, chowder in sour dough bread bowls and Dungeness Crab Paninis. Since sourdough IS ma’ thing. 49ers score and go up 10-0
Digs- M&T Stadium is a football coliseum. It ain’t got the character of old Rome, but the effect of being encapsulated in Deep Purple works some mad magic on the captive audience. I like Candlestick because Willie Mays once played there, but it’s like attending a free concert. Ravens tie the score at 10
Swag- The 49ers cardinal red and gold with the interlocking SF logo is classic. The Ravens? Sorry, but the only athletes who can pull off black and purple are MMA fighters the day after a match. 49ers take the lead, 20-10
Company- I didn’t think 49ers fans got raucous unless there was a sour dough shortage, but they get that wine cavern shaking. No small feat. Thing is, Ravens fans are rabid AND dignified which is something I’ve not experienced anywhere else on the Northeast corridor. Ravens tie it at 20-20
Best Backyard- A fifteen minute walk through Inner Harbor gets you everywhere. Take the water taxi to Fells Point for a bar crawl or stay on dry land and hit the National Aquarium, the Science Center, the Maritime Museum and Camden Yards. Not to mention the gazillion shops and eateries. A visit to San Fran requires a quick read on public transportation, but it’s cool. Hit Lombard Street for picture taking, kitsch on Fisherman’s Wharf, tour the Presidio, meditate at the Japanese Tea Garden and enjoy the ride over the Golden Gate that gets you there. Cap it with a late dinner at Fog City Diner. And those cable cars . . . 49ers take the lead 30-20
Best Nickname- I love Poe, so it’s Gothic over Golden Gate. Ravens tie it at 30 to send us to overtime!
Best Leader in a Zombie Apocalypse- Ray Lewis of the Ravens is fearsome, but motivational song and dance ain’t getting it done when the zombies take over. Jim Harbaugh is Captain Cojones. He’s got serious damage on his mind underneath that cap and when he leaves someone behind- Alex Smith- it’s for the good of the group. Plus, I can see him punching a zombie in the face.
49ers score to win the Super Bowl 33-30!
Manana I cook up some lechon for Game Day Cuban sandwiches- with a side of tostones. Throw in a couple icy cervezas, and game on.
Whatchou’ cooking up for game day?