Oh that’s right, we’re not referring to it as Super Bowl anymore. The term was trademarked by the league office for the purposes of protecting their intellectual property from . . . people who want to talk up the game. When you can tell people not to refer to your biggest event of the year by name, and still take your britches out? That’s some business. There’s a reason Roger Goodell doesn’t wear socks, and it’s because his sock drawer is full of gold bars.
Okay, I usually leave my video spill for last call, but seeing as how they’re playing the game in the Boss’s backyard and I have a Jethro Tull selection in mind for this post, I just had to throw a Springsteen salud in here somewhere.
And . . . if the forecast would’ve called for snow, I was gonna go with one of my faves from the Sabbath.
Enough ‘o that. Here then are Cayman Thorn’s *SUPERSIZED Questions, Comments and Concerns about the Roman Numeral Rumble:
(*McDonalds isn’t gonna kill me for using Supersized. They’ll let the McRib do it.)
How in the hell did Busta Rhymes end up in the Big Game? This guy has more dimensions than Marilyn McCoo’s Christmas card list.
Oh well, I guess Busta got tired of kicking Michael Myers’ ass in Halloween.
I figured out what Peyton Manning is up to when he screams ‘Omaha’ at the line of scrimmage. (Other than doing the job of the Omaha Visitors Bureau for them). As any fan of Counting Crows can tell you, when the opposing corner back is playing man and you pick up a safety blitz, you can just “Run past the heather and down to the old road”. I mean . . duh!
Why do they have a specific starting time for the game if they’re not going to start it specifically at that time?
Super Fun Fact #406
Lombardi Trophy spelled backwards is Buffalo Bills
I don’t want to ruin the ending on Sunday, so I’m not gonna ask who Giselle is praying for, since those prayers didn’t work out so well for New England the last couple times they were in the big game.
Do grocery shoppers really shop for free while the game is being played? Or is my girlfriend just trying to trick me into going shopping with her?
If they had to postpone the game because of snow, why CAN’T they just make it up in July?
Come to think of it, why don’t they just play it in July?
Super Fun Fact #349
The last time the Broncos were in the big game, a ‘selfie’ referred to being master of your domain. The last time the Seahawks were in it, Barack Obama was best known as ‘the guy who hangs with Oprah’
You know when we needed halftime concerts for this game? Back in the ’80’s, when every game was over by the second quarter.
The Dolphins are never invited back to this thing, are they?
Cayman Thorn’s Deep Six Wings
Beg pardon my ballpark measuring skills, cause that’s how I cook. Improvisers, go to the front of the line, cause we simpatico.
-Dust 2-3 lbs chicken wings in a black pepper flour moondance and then give it a buttermilk bath for two hours. Yes, refrigerate during the intermezzo. Please.
-Roll those puppies around in a seasoned mixture of flour and cornmeal (My ‘Four Seasons’ mix consists of a little salt, lots of black pepper, a little cumin and some garlic. You’re not getting measurements, you’re an adult, figure it out).
-Let the wings sit while you fill a pan with vegetable oil. Make sure the oil is hotter than Vera Farmiga before you commence.
-Hit it. Place those dolled up wings in the lake of fire until you achieve a golden brown (Think Kate Gosselin after the tanning bed). After which you sit ‘em to the side on some paper towels and prep the sauce.
For the hot sauce, it’s simple and relative A stick of butter, a generous amount of hot sauce (I go with Crystal), a couple squeezes of honey (2 tbs). You want a puddle of red to roll the wings in. Do that for a couple minutes.
Serve. Or reach for some jalapeno bites if you’re a vegetarian like my girlfriend.
The Broncos held their media session on board a cruise ship, because they couldn’t find another location to accommodate their team and the media contingent. That’s what happens when you bring the game to the sticks.
Washington and Colorado are the only two states thus far to legalize marijuana for recreational purposes. Understandably, both ‘Hawks and Broncos fans have . . umm, high hopes. Music vid? Why not . . Boss.
East Rutherford got screwed. This is a town whose population of just under 9,000 wouldn’t even fill the North end zone of Met Life- a stadium you can actually see from the center of town. And yet, the NFL gave ‘em bupkis. Not a single scheduled event, and when the Mayor wanted to stage his own- a block party- he was prohibited from doing so. Damn!
I dig the Seahawks uniforms so much, I’m willing to overlook the neon.
No tailgating at this Super Bowl. Maybe the league is concerned about terrorism, or losing beer money in the parking lot. But it’s shortsighted. Hell, with all those Coloradans and Washingtonians getting baked before the game, food sales would soar!
And since they’re running the Big Game commercials before the Big Game actually happens, here’s my favorite out of the gate.
Prediction: The stars will shine. Expect high octane offense with some timely defense late in the game providing the difference.
Heat 104- Knicks 98
And oh yeah, here’s that Tull selection I was fixating on once Al Roker broke it to us that snow was taking a day off. Have a great Super Bowl Sunday, kids. And if you don’t hear from me again, it means the league office detained me. Call Dennis Rodman . . . oh wait, no . . .