Root root riot for the home team

There are many things about sports I do not understand. Jerseys, for one. I don’t get why fans insist on getting dressed up like its Halloween, as if they feel compelled to identify themselves. Don’t even get me started with the face painters, who I believe should be put down for the good of society.

And the wave? It’s bush league stuff which really should have been retired with the Major League movies, along with Charlie Sheen’s hang low. Booing at the opposing team is something I never understood. .  since dead silence would be so much more effective, don’t you think?

Most sports fans aren’t rocket scientists, and I get this. But why do so many of them become criminals after their team wins something?

The San Francisco Giants WON the World Series and a select few geniuses decided to turn their town into the play room at Chuck E. Cheese’s. It occurred to them that cheering and clapping and singing and kissing the hot girl (or guy, its San Fran) standing next to them wasn’t enough. No, they recognized that their big happy needed an even more expansive form of celebration. The time honored riot.

It’s interesting to note that their team WON. Their team wasn’t shot dead by the Rangers, even though it very well could have happened that way since they played the game in Texas. Their team wasn’t taken into custody for impersonating the Taliban. They weren’t purchased by the New York Yankees immediately after clinching the title, which was yet another possibility.

Team wins, fans riot.

Why doesn’t this kind of shit ever happen at the Oscars?

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