The Heat finally wins something

There’s a new hottest chili pepper in the world and it goes by the name of Naga Viper. When you put the word viper in there and you’re talking chili peppers, that’s usually meant to scare away any pain in the ass innocent bystanders. And it usually does the trick at that.

Just to give you an indication as to the flame throwing heat we’re talking here, it laps the ghost chili on the Scoville Scale by 300,000 points. And it crashes the magical million point barrier, weighing in at 1,359,000 units. Which is hot enough to tear the enamel off your teeth. Hot enough to make you believe in a heaven after experiencing hell. Hot enough to cause instant hemorrhoids. Hot enough to get Vera Farmiga to say “Damn, that’s hot!”. Hot enough to strip paint.

Actually, the last one is a true statement. It was made by the Frankenstein creator, British pub owner Gerald Fowler. He crossbred the three hottest chili peppers to make this bastard.

And here you thought the Brits didn’t have it in them to bring the heat ever since the redcoats were sent home back in the 18th century. Nah ah. This settles it. They’re still potent mofo’s.

Best part of the viper chili pepper is that our government is already deep into researching a way to utilize this heat for combat purposes. I can only assume they’re going to test it on Adam Richman’s stomach.

How did Pat Riley not know about this?

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