Maybe it’s me

Ever since I can remember, I’ve never been much for the stuff my pals seemed so infatuated with. Girls were one thing, but all the other stuff escaped me. This has not changed one bit in all the time I’ve known myself.

Here are a few conversation starters most of my brethren score above average on, but to which I fail miserably.

The best men’s college football and basketball teams- The UConn women are the most interesting thing going in major college sports, even after losing their streak. Men’s college sports seems to be dominated by felons, hype and crooked voting booths.

Is Brett Favre retiring?- Last time I googled Favre was around Labor Day. But I hear the roof collapsed in Minnesota so I take it to mean the most over hyped athlete of the century is still kicking.

Kim Kardashian’s reality show- Is there really an ounce of reality to a girl who goes on a 100 K handbag spree? I don’t think so.

Bruce Springsteen (Dead or Alive?)- I’ve used his musical talents for romantic purpose with agreeable results so this knock is akin to biting the hand that fed me BUT . . . I gotta admit. I never understood the fascination with this guy.

Carmen Electra (Dead or Alive?)– I’ve used her, ahem, musical talents for romantic purpose with agreeable results so this knock is akin to biting the hand that . . . . Anyway, I never understood the fascination with this girl.

Is Tigers Woods relevant again?- I paid attention when he won his first Masters. And I dig that commercial where he juggles the golf ball with a golf club for five minutes. But outside of his sexual exploits, he’s not the most interesting man in the world.

Raising Arizona- Most guys I know can quote the movie verbatim. I’ve seen it once. I keep meaning to see it again, but the only quote I can muster from here is “You forgot the diapers!?”. I’m close on that one, right?

Sports jersey as fashion statement- I have a few sports jerseys I wear around my crib. But the idea of venturing out in public dressed in some other guy’s work clothes strikes me as latently homosexual.

Saying ‘woohoo’- At the moment of orgasm, fine. Outside of that, I’m not sure what this is supposed to prove, other than making you look like an extreme putz.

Car love- I’ve never been in love with a car. I’ve been in love inside a car a few times, but the object of my affections had legs, long flowing hair and a much sexier chassis.

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