Hey Paul! The Beef Isn’t With India . . .

I was elated when Paul McCartney was knighted for his service to the music world. Calling the lead Beatle Sir was something I had been accustomed to doing long before it was made official.

And when people began referring to him as the vegetarian Paul McCartney, I have to admit it threw me a little bit. But when his lovely wife Linda passed way too soon, I thought it a fitting homage to the lady and her influence.

But as an activist, Paul is geographically challenged.

He’s calling on the Indian Prime Minister to declare a National Vegetarian Day for the country. According to this LA Times article, India’s vegetarian population clocked in at a robust 42 percent back in 2003- which is  approximately forty one and a half percent higher than the vegetarian population of the United States. Not since he was hopping around with Heather Mills has Paul McCartney’s heart been so far off course.

He has the right idea but he’s calling out the wrong country. We need a vegetarian day right here in the good old US of DA. Hell, we need a week.

It’s about time we beat the meat, in a manner of speaking. Paul should bring his animal loving meat free living soul caravan stateside. It would be the most unwelcome British invasion since Samuel Adams was rousted from his beer buzz by another guy named Paul.

But so what? We need some tough medicine, and pronto. Only two states in the nation have an obesity rate below 20 percent. There are thirty three states where at least a quarter of the population is obese.

To put these disturbing numbers in the simplest terms, the average American consumes what would amount to one person per year. Zombies would be hard pressed to keep up with that.

Of course,  if Sir Paul decided to venture across the Atlantic with this idea, he would be wise to bring a security detail befitting a President along with him. Once the Fifth Estate (fast food and restaurant chains) gets wind of this vegetarian manifesto . . he’s going to need bullet proof briefs and a gross of Oakley wearing dudes with ripped automatics.

And he won’t be able to borrow any of our President’s men either. Mr. Obama is more likely to acquiesce to a Republican than a vegetarian. He’d probably invite Paul to a Five Guys burger joint to discuss the matter, with the proviso that he could make the Revolution 9 track a smash hit all over again with one phone call.

Yes. America loves its red meat that much.

But I’ll stand with Paul if he ever decides to bring his crazy idea of a National Vegetarian Day to the states.  We could do with some waistline reduction, and it wouldn’t kill us to pay some respect to the living creatures we’re belly bumping into extinction while we’re at it.

And I’m not just saying this because I am a fool for all things Beatles. I’m saying this because I happen to be sleeping with a vegetarian.


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