You Are Looking Live! at a live one . . .

There’s a reason why so many athletes just don’t get it, and the answer is YOU sports fans.  Yep, that’s right. Just check the mug in the mirror, the one  pimping that $250 authentic bizness suit.

You demand the supply and in so doing you guarantee the cycle of clueless jocks will continue in perpetuity. Clueless jocks, not dumb jocks. I never subscribed to the dumb jock theorem. In my experience, dumb infects each and every profession equally and with great vigor. And so long as you’re not talking about my surgeon, accountant or pilot . . I don’t see it as a grievous affliction, not really.

As far as I’m concerned, there are a hell of a lot more dumb sports fans than dumb jocks. Face it, sports fans will spend money they do not have on games they should not be attending, most times with silly things such as the fates of their marriages hanging in the balance. Many sports fans choose cable sports packages over their kid’s braces and season tickets over college funds.

With most athletes, the crime is simply that they are clueless.

LeBron James is a great example of a clueless jock. As an athlete, he is a thrill to watch in person. His combination of size and speed is a rare thing, and the grace with which he covers ninety four feet worth of hardwood is a sight to behold. Unfortunately, he has an opinion to go along with his jumps. And believe me when I tell you it ain’t pretty.

James recently tweeted the following after his former team suffered a humiliating loss.

“Crazy. Karma is a b****.. Gets you every time. Its not good to wish bad on anybody. God sees everything!”


Ever since he decided to air his “Decision” show in prime time, James has been doing a bang up job when it comes to saying really stupid things with great flair. So it was no surprise when he later explained this tweet was actually not his own, but that of a fan.

Whether this is true or not is is immaterial. Possession constitutes ninth tenths of any law- whether you major in criminal justice, journalism or basketball. LBJ had to clarify that Twitter comment at ground zero, after which he became responsible for said comment. He can’t hide behind the fact that he employs minimum wage talent to handle his PR bag.

He can’t hide behind a bad relationship with his former owner. Dan Gilbert is a schmuck. But the fact remains that James cashed a bunch of friendlies on that schmuck’s name and what’s more, he accepted every single off the court favor Gilbert pampered him with at the expense of team unity. Crying about an asshole boss only matters if you’re working the graveyard shift at Mickey D’s.

Of course, LeBron doesn’t have to deal with real world solutions to his kid in a candy store problems. He can start as many fires as he wants, just so long as he possesses that freakish talent of his. And as such, he can continue to be as clueless as Liza Minella was in her marriage to that gay guy who promised to have and to hold but did not specify as to what.

LBJ can chill his pill cause there are sports fans ready to grab his jersey off the shelf if only to burn it in effigy. Sports fans buy anything and everything, no matter the prohibitive costs of time and money and misplaced passion.

Just this week comes the news break splash that Super Bowl tickets will be made available to fans at the bargain basement price of $200 a pop. If a hooker offered such a bargain as this, you would think AIDS had become an airborne commodity.

And fear much sports fan, cause those dollar store Supe tickets get the proverbial you a spot outside the stadium . . . where you can watch the big game on a television screen. And as if that wasn’t insulting enough, the NFL is giving first dibs to Dallas Cowboys season ticket holders with the proviso that they must purchase the tickets in blocks of four. I’ll do the math for any sports fans reading this. That’s $800 tamales. So’s you can watch the game outside, with commercial interruptions. Go team!

The moral of the story, sports fans . . . is that you’re buying the kind of shit the FDA would outlaw. And those suits live high and mighty on graft.

LeBron James could tell you all about the piss poor quality of that NFL brand which goes for a hundred times the cost of its better days. Because LBJ was talking up contraction in his own sport not that long ago.

Until he changed up that comment. Or was it that he was misquoted? Or maybe it’s just that the kid is simply clueless.

Doesn’t matter much.

He has buyers.


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