Well it certainly took long enough for the Allies to figure out that Muammar el-Quaddafi was a bad man, huh? What was the clincher? The fact that he wasn’t a team player on Celebrity Apprentice? For those of you who may not be familiar with the Libyan strongman, he’s been in power since we landed on the moon. It happened before Facebook . . . that moon thing.
I’m guessing they’re serious about taking care of Quaddafi or they wouldn’t have preempted March Madness . . . not that anyone with a bracket is paying attention anyway.
You know, back in the ’80s the only American attacks on Quaddafi were the ones supplied by late night talk show hosts. Now it’s all business. Or is it personal? Or is it business casual? Or a working vacation?
We bombed his compound today. It’s a symbolic gesture when Allied Forces do this, since there isn’t a chance in hell the guy is staying there. We only bombed the thing as a show of force. And for whoever was inside his crib when it came down, I’m sure they got the message.
But if Quaddafi has as many compounds as he has names, this thing may take a while. Because have you noticed all the aliases our press has supplied for this guy over the years?
When put to song, it’s like dyslexic Gershwin on crack.
You say Gadhafi and I say Gaddafi,
You say Khadafy and I say Quaddafi,
Gadhafi . Gaddafi . Khadafy . Quaddafi,
Let’s call the whole thing off!
I stick with the New York Times spelling of his name since I was raised to believe the Times was full of derelict liberals whose grammar was beyond reproach. It helps to remember it this way. Quaddafi is a Quaker in Double D’s. Hey, I was big into late night in the ’80s, alright?
I’m just waiting for Joe Biden to show up on a Spring Break party boat with a harem of strippers behind him holding up a sign which reads . . .
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED DRINK SPECIALS TONIGHT ONLY!