Uma’s Curious About Face

I once dated a girl simply because she bore a striking resemblance to Uma Thurman. It was shallow, to be sure. But my conscience was salved by the fact that she was constantly telling me I looked like JFK Jr. I didn’t see it, but truth be told I was willing to marry her for the compliment alone. Or at least date her seriously until she met her true love- which I assumed was the guy who looked like Johnny Depp.

This is going back about five years now. Back when Uma still had that Cats and Dogs look going on. Sultry simple with a vagabond cunning. Beautiful. 2006 marked the transitional phase of Uma Face. It had undergone limited reconstruction but it still retained the amazing character which had made her a star in the first place.

Kill Bill Uma Face had stolen just a bit of the magic away, but her slightly older patina was forceful enough to make you forget the work she was already doing to a face that didn’t need it.

Present day Uma Face is no longer capable of lying away the landscape job her million dollar face doctors have created. And I for one would prefer to see lines and creases than to try and relearn Uma from the vantage point of a Barbie Doll.

I will never understand the fascination these Hollywood beauties have with reinventing their faces until the original becomes unrecognizable. I guess you can blame it on the business they’re in. But Uma has no excuse since she’s sitting pretty on the side of Superstardom. So what if she loses out on big shot roles to the newest flavor of the week? Those girls are dime a dozen. Uma has stature and a portfolio to boot. No one’s pushing her off a cliff.

Sure, Uma Face would have looked older without the work, but less sexy? Not a chance. I bet you she asked for Ethan Hawke’s advice on the face. Someone should have been there to tell her to leave that face alone. I miss it.


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