The natural conclusion of micro news sources

In this age of Twitter, you’d think news articles would practice a little more brevity. USA Today ushered in the age of newspaper kibble almost thirty years ago, and for good reason. They understood that readership of the national periodicals was dwindling even in the time before the internet.

Apparently, some corner newsrooms dismissed the memo.

1,900 word articles on Julia Roberts special friendship with Tom Hanks? 2,700 word articles on the M&M colors going their separate ways? Hell, a 300 word article on Selena Gomez’s fave crush is 300 words too many, considering I have no blessed idea who she is.

Have we learned nothing from the Twitterati?

Here then, an idea. Deliver the news in haiku. You expand the breadth of news if not the depth of it, which is the point, right? Americans can read up on the news in the time it takes to burn toast.

To paraphrase Bobby Womack- Leave them wanting more by giving them so much less.

 . . . J-Lo and Marc Anthony Separate:

The seven year itch

To J-Lo’s way of thinking

Is forty nine years

. . . Harry Potter Saga Ends

J.K. Rowling’s done

Mugging the Muggle parents

With lukewarm plot lines

. . . Charlie Sheen admits to steroid use during ‘Major League’:

Charlie uses dope

World spins, life continues on

Nothing to see here

. . . Carmegeddon Running Smoothly

The “Big Hang” goes well

For movie types who plunder

Lots of stock footage

. . . Michael Vick signs Nike deal:

Vindication works

When he can still make money

For everyone else