A long night’s journey into “At the end of the day”

Get it while it’s still piping hot.

Because it won’t be long before “at the end of the day” is replaced with the next nifty little fix on our blessed vernacular. It will be chopped up into leftovers the flavor of which will be unrecognizable to the next cylindrical method of expression.

Attach this verbal pogo stick to whatever it is you’re talking about to explain your take on matters of varied consequence. It could be used to explain why you filed your income tax late, or how a simple lover’s spat went all Fatal Attraction, or maybe you need a little poetic license for losing a pop fly in the lights. It’s an impersonal/personal explanation. A vaguely definable frame of reference as to your perspective on things.

When all is said and done? Well, that’s what you get “at the end of the day”.

It’s mumbo meets jumbo, mostly. It’s a rewrite on hard and fast realities, Disney version. It’s the Nada Colada of Yada Yada. It’s what Brando would’ve ripped from the script and what De Caprio says.

Get out of jail free in the doing, but please don’t ask me to take you seriously if you dare to actually do it.

How can you take someone seriously when they lay that crap on you? You’ll know what I mean the next time a friend explains his inability to locate your blu ray copy of The Big Lebowski and then rallies with “At the end of the day, there’s more to life.”

You’ll think to yourself that the more to his life includes an impromptu “Say cheese” at the wrong end of a semi automatic, followed by a drop clothed midnight car ride into the deep country. Sorry, I was thinking out loud there.

“At the end of the day” is nothing more than a second rate shot in the dark. A piss poor job of sweeping up the crumbs of agony. A percolating revolt festers deep inside me every time I hear the metabolic rendering as it seems to be leaned on heavily by those intent on throwing away their less than brilliant trespasses into some really stupid crap.

Examples: (Because I care)

Tiger, why did you cheat on your wife?

“Well, at the end of the day it seemed an acceptable habit. You know, after conquering eighteen holes . . .”

Why did you urinate on a 12 year old girl?

“At the end of the day, when you gotta go, you gotta go”

Why did you threaten to secede from the Union?

“At the end of the day, I’m gonna run for President”*

What’s next Kate?

“At the end of the day, I’d like to follow in Oprah’s footsteps . . . stop laughing!”

Tread carefully, young people. And understand what this riposte through trees untouched may prosper. It could end up being a matter of life and death, or close enough to reconsider.

(*GOP Presidential candidate Rick Perry)


5 thoughts on “A long night’s journey into “At the end of the day”

  1. ah! meaningless phrases!

    My favourite, which I think may have been coined by the Thatcher woman is:

    ‘We’re taking a long hard look at . . . .’

    which might mean ‘we’re talking about it, but we have no idea of what to do and actually no intention of doing anything anyway . . . . ‘ or it might mean ‘next question, please.’

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