Sorry, I was channeling my best Cindy Brady on LSD. I haven’t had my paws on a tongue twisting political headline such as that since Bill Clinton was put out to stud.
Anyways, the news that another of the terror tenors was killed hit me like a ton of brick-a-bracs. She’s really dead. No, not Rosie . . . that other evil-she. The Libyan dude who actually wore dresses, and whose name had more variations than a dyslexic Mandarin Chinese menu.
It’s always anticlimactic when a terror biggie is cooked, don’t ya think? It’s like solving a pink eye version of “Where’s Waldo?” and winning a coupon to Taco Bell for your troubles.
In Gadhafi’s case, I’m equal parts blah and thankful. Blah for the fact that his death is akin to punching Scott Baio in the mouth for crappy sitcoms. It’s a too little too late proposition is all I’m saying. You might as well bitch on Lady Gaga for corduroy. Or complain to Wilt Chamberlain on the 72 virgins bullshit for that matter.
Nonetheless, it’s over. And I’m thankful, since we might finally uncover the correct spelling of his last name. The possibilities were endless in his life, so it’s the hope that with his abrupt departure from Nic Robertson’s Fave Five, it might roust Wikipedia into some detective work commensurate with its donation drivel.
I posted on the G to the GH to the K to the KH to the Fill In The Blank dilemma a while back. If you have a minute of your life to waste and no KFC bucket to get busy on, read it here.
It’s time like this when you realize how unfair life really is. That an asshole who fills our late night sketches with laughter is gone and Mitt Romney is hundreds of years shy of the black curtain. Not that Gadfly wasn’t deserving of his fate. It’s just that, well . . . death had better things it could have been doing today. Like, it could have reaped on . . .
–Bryant Gumbel’s opinion
–Jim Harbaugh post game handshakes
-Jim Schwartz’s response (see above)
-The Red Sox clubhouse mojo
-Mitt Romney’s hair
-The way Rick Perry looks at Mitt Romney’s hair
-Jim Belushi’s career
-The way ABC looks at Jim Belushi’s career
-Vera Farmiga’s husband (It’s personal)
-Adam Sandler movies
-Olive Garden commercials
-Rex Ryan predictions
-Fox Sports graphics
-Guy Fieri’s back of the neck sunglasses look
-Anthony Bourdain’s pissy pontifications
-That putz of a host from Dancing with the Stars
-The Miami Marlins new uniforms
I could go on for hours if this wasn’t a blog. Days if I didn’t have to go to work. Years if I was John Madden. Instead, I’ll dedicate a song to Afi for the simple reason that, as a blogger, I can do just that.