The Inimitable Tebow, and his date with Big Mouse Inc.

It’s a given that Tebow ends up in bed . . .  (uh, I meant just friends) with Disney. He possesses all of the characteristics of the protagonist they pay big money to fictionalize. Hard working, driven, never say die, clean living. Winner.

Of course, there are miles to go. But just think . . .

(Editors Note: The part of Bette Logan is a nod to Betty Logan, who was played by the lovely Julie Christie in Heaven Can Wait. Fellow fans might pick up on some parallels in this treatment.)

The Cast:

Matthew McConaughey as Tim Tebow
Gary Busey as John Elway
Michael Rappaport as John Fox
Jennifer Aniston as Bette Logan (Tebow’s girlfriend, until Lindsey Vonn fesses)
Bradley Cooper as Aaron Rodgers
Skip Bayless as Himself
Chris Berman as Himself

The setting is the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California. Forget Indianapolis, this is Hollywood. Besides, it’s hard to beat the Rose Bowl for a big game setting.

The Green Bay Packers have just wrested the Super Bowl away from the upstart Denver Broncos in a thrilling double overtime classic in which Rodgers and Tebow battle touchdown for touchdown across a mid-winter night’s landscape.

Tebow and Bette are walking the field with the backdrop of a hundred thousand empty seats and a moon thrown from a Dickens novel.

Tebow- If you’d have told me I could feel this good after losing the biggest game of my life? Well, I’d have said you were crazy . . .
Bette-
You were amazing tonight. You showed the world what you had, Tim. No one can ever doubt you, ever again.
Tebow- Did you ever doubt me?
(A grin broadens her face as she looks into his eyes. They stand face to face, smiling at the conclusions of a world being settled while theirs are still very much up for grabs.)
Bette- Not from the first time I saw you play. But I had a big head start on the rest of them.

Their moonlight walk is interrupted by the Super Bowl MVP,  Aaron Rodgers. He breaks from his small entourage of adoring fans and walks out to where Tebow and his girlfriend are standing.

Rodgers extends his hand and Tebow clenches it. They’re battle weary but their gate is buoyed by the thousand years worth of dreams they have played out inside this epic cinema.

Rodgers- That was a great game out there tonight.
Tebow- I thought I had you there for a while.
Rodgers- You had all of us tonight, man.

Rodgers turns to walk away.

Tebow- Same time next year?

Rodgers simply turns and nods his head before getting lost inside the caverns of the Rose Bowl.

Bette- What does tomorrow look like, Mr Tebow?
Tebow- Well, it seems to me I’m a ring short.
Bette- (Laughing) Can we retire the football talk until Tuesday, at least? I told you already . . . you’ll get that ring.

Tebow drops to his knee and presents her with his 2006 National Championship ring.

Tebow- That wasn’t the one I was talking about.

They fall into each others arms and he twirls her around before settling into a kiss that seals the deal.

Tebow- Now, I realize it’s not the engagement ring you were expecting, but I promise to . . . .
Bette- It’s perfect.

Tebow and Bette take to the seats and cast a line into what their tomorrow is going to look like as the bustle of a celebrating throng encircles the outer reaches of this palace of champions.

They live happily ever after.

Sappy, formulaic . . . ah, Disney’s all over it if the Broncos do some business in the postseason.

(A soundtrack- heavy on inspiration while towing the secular line)

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8 thoughts on “The Inimitable Tebow, and his date with Big Mouse Inc.

  1. Tebow is a flash in the pan. His team is built on defnse and its that defense that has won the games as much as tebow if not more. He gets all the credit until the opposition figures out how to stop him and they will, as with any gimmick. Super bowl? lmao

  2. Well here’s the deal. Tebow may very well own a pumpkin with his name on it, but I’m more interested in the carriage ride he currently finds himself on. The league has a lot of forgettable headlines working- such as the inability of some of its high profile stars such as Harrison and Suh to play within the rules, and a guy on the Bears named Hurd who was making more money peddling drugs than catching passes. So I figure Tebow ain’t a bad thing to be talking about right now, and I’m sure Commissioner Goodell would agree.
    And a couple of counterpoints here . . . Tebow does get a ton of credit, yes. Well, guess what? It comes with the position. QB’s are loved and hated more than any other player on the team, that’s how it works. And as for this amazing defense getting all the credit? Let’s pipe down some. Because that vaunted defense was 1-4 before Tebow was put in at starter, and they did happen to give up a boatload of points and yards to that offensive juggernaut . . . the Minnesota Vikings.
    So yes, it DOES take a team. Tebow needs his D and that amazing cold blooded place kicker, and they need him.
    As for the Super Bowl, that was the whole point of this post. I wasn’t saying it was gonna happen, but we can all dream a little.

  3. I am so keen to join this discussion but the only name I recognize is Julie Christie — after seeing ‘Don’t look now’ I am still lost for words after all these years later. . . . .

  4. Yanno, I never believed myself to have a ‘type’ when it came to women . . . until now. All this time later, and it turns out I do indeed have a type–the Julie Christie type. I was in love with her long before I learned what a dangerous game love can be.

    Keen to join the discussion? Hell, you MADE the discussion worth having with that comment. Have you been knighted yet?

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