It’s a given that Tebow ends up in bed . . . (uh, I meant just friends) with Disney. He possesses all of the characteristics of the protagonist they pay big money to fictionalize. Hard working, driven, never say die, clean living. Winner.
Of course, there are miles to go. But just think . . .
(Editors Note: The part of Bette Logan is a nod to Betty Logan, who was played by the lovely Julie Christie in Heaven Can Wait. Fellow fans might pick up on some parallels in this treatment.)
Matthew McConaughey as Tim Tebow
Gary Busey as John Elway
Michael Rappaport as John Fox
Jennifer Aniston as Bette Logan (Tebow’s girlfriend, until Lindsey Vonn fesses)
Bradley Cooper as Aaron Rodgers
Skip Bayless as Himself
Chris Berman as Himself
The setting is the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California. Forget Indianapolis, this is Hollywood. Besides, it’s hard to beat the Rose Bowl for a big game setting.
The Green Bay Packers have just wrested the Super Bowl away from the upstart Denver Broncos in a thrilling double overtime classic in which Rodgers and Tebow battle touchdown for touchdown across a mid-winter night’s landscape.
Tebow and Bette are walking the field with the backdrop of a hundred thousand empty seats and a moon thrown from a Dickens novel.
Tebow- If you’d have told me I could feel this good after losing the biggest game of my life? Well, I’d have said you were crazy . . .
Bette- You were amazing tonight. You showed the world what you had, Tim. No one can ever doubt you, ever again.
Tebow- Did you ever doubt me?
(A grin broadens her face as she looks into his eyes. They stand face to face, smiling at the conclusions of a world being settled while theirs are still very much up for grabs.)
Bette- Not from the first time I saw you play. But I had a big head start on the rest of them.
Their moonlight walk is interrupted by the Super Bowl MVP, Aaron Rodgers. He breaks from his small entourage of adoring fans and walks out to where Tebow and his girlfriend are standing.
Rodgers extends his hand and Tebow clenches it. They’re battle weary but their gate is buoyed by the thousand years worth of dreams they have played out inside this epic cinema.
Rodgers- That was a great game out there tonight.
Tebow- I thought I had you there for a while.
Rodgers- You had all of us tonight, man.
Rodgers turns to walk away.
Tebow- Same time next year?
Rodgers simply turns and nods his head before getting lost inside the caverns of the Rose Bowl.
Bette- What does tomorrow look like, Mr Tebow?
Tebow- Well, it seems to me I’m a ring short.
Bette- (Laughing) Can we retire the football talk until Tuesday, at least? I told you already . . . you’ll get that ring.
Tebow drops to his knee and presents her with his 2006 National Championship ring.
Tebow- That wasn’t the one I was talking about.
They fall into each others arms and he twirls her around before settling into a kiss that seals the deal.
Tebow- Now, I realize it’s not the engagement ring you were expecting, but I promise to . . . .
Bette- It’s perfect.
Tebow and Bette take to the seats and cast a line into what their tomorrow is going to look like as the bustle of a celebrating throng encircles the outer reaches of this palace of champions.
They live happily ever after.
Sappy, formulaic . . . ah, Disney’s all over it if the Broncos do some business in the postseason.
(A soundtrack- heavy on inspiration while towing the secular line)