Hell hath no freedom like a juror scorned

Well, it was real.

I lost out on the federal equivalent of the Hunger Games. But my inconvenienced self is cool with that, since it was only one day’s worth of agony. Now, I have another two years before I might be called back. Plenty of time with which to move out of state, or change my name. Again.

Anyway, I’m encapsulating all the mind numbing madness into a “24” throwback. So . . the following takes place between 3:45 am and not soon enough.

3:45 am- Wake up and thank God that those Dancing US Marshals were a nightmare. I’m pretty sure . . they . . were.
4:00 am- Feed the cat. Who responds with a “%$#@ you very much” in cat’s eye. (Hint: He wasn’t saying thanks)
4:15 am- Towel off and then apply makeup.
4:16 am- That’s not my makeup!
5:15 am-  Purchase my round trip Amtrak ticket. Ask about cash bar.
7:11 am- Arrive at courthouse with an hour and nineteen minutes to spare. I search for Rocky running the streets to no avail.
8:40 am- 10:something or other-
Now playing in the Jury Assembly Room. “Agony and her Seven Sisters- in 3D!”
11 am, or so- I’m chosen as a possible juror and given the number 13. Ah, I’ve already said, too much.
1:00 pm – 2:00 pm- After attaching ankle bracelets to us, we are free to roam within a half mile of the courthouse. When I ask what happens if we go further, they show us a photograph of scrapple.
1:20 pm- I was going to hit the Liberty Bell, but there was a line and I didn’t want to wait. Then I was going to check out Independence Hall, but there was a line and I didn’t want to wait. So, I call my girlfriend while waiting in line at Starbucks.
2:00 pm- 4:17 pm- Redacted. All I can share is this scene, which flickered through my brain incessantly.
4:18 pm- They tell us we’re free to go. I’m not sure what the thirty second head start means, but I’m not waiting around to find out.
5:35 pm-  Heading home, and no sign of Tommy Lee Jones anywh . . . wait! Oh no, nope no sign of him.

I’ll tell you one thing. I’ve gained a new appreciation for my daily routine after this episode. Getting up at 6 in the morning feels like the middle of the day!

Hey, I’m going to ride that wave for all its worth baby.

(Okay, quick addendum cause I gotta scoot. I was thinking maybe some more Shadow Falls starting tomorrow? I’ll be back on later tonight to catch up with y’all.)


21 thoughts on “Hell hath no freedom like a juror scorned

  1. mmm…scrapple…
    Your adherence to the requirements of civilized living are an inspiration to us all.
    And yeah, I’d catch a 530am train too if it had a bar car.

    • I could always be called down to my local courthouse. But that wouldn’t be a big deal, since I could basically walk there if I wanted to. Love the vacation photos by the way.

  2. I can’t believe you didn’t wait to see the Liberty Bell. What kind of American are you? Geesh. Damn tourists…..

  3. What KIND of American? The Starbucks kind, thank you very much. I pledge allegiance to an iced coffee several times a week, and to the republic for which it stands. One nation’s indivisibility is another nation’s caffeine fix.
    Uh . . . amen?

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