Warhol vs WalMart: The Steel-Age Match

In honor of that gaping wound otherwise known as the generational divide, this Gen X’er feels like throwing down with my Baby Booming counterparts.

Sorta like an Us vs Them rumble for the ages. Hey, it’s how Americans have rolled ever since the Pilgrims introduced the Indians to the fickle nature of subleasing. If there’s one thing the generations can agree on, it’s that we do loves us a bare knuckled brawl to go along with our barbecue and beer. As for the Generations Y through Z? Humor us, as per usual.

Us- i-Phones                                
Them- Phone booths

The winner is Us

Us- Tanorexia
Them- The clap

The winner is Us 

Us- Ryan Seacrest
Them- Bob Hope

The winner is Them

Us- The divorce of TomKat (We’re gonna lose this one)
Them- The divorces of Liz Taylor and Richard Burton (Told ya)

Us- Double stuff Oreos
Them- Doubleheaders and Double Features

The winner is Them

Us- The John Travolta gay rumors
Them- The Cary Grant gay rumors

There are no winners, unless TMZ counts

Us- Google
Them– The library

The winner is Us

Us- Overpriced bottled water
Them- Drinking from the tap

The winner is Them

Us- Competitive Eating Contests
Them-Dance Marathons

The winner is Them

Us- Al Gore
Them- Alcatraz

A tie

Us- Mark Zuckerberg
Richard Nixon

The winner is Communist China

Us- Starbucks for breakfast
Them- Cigarettes for breakfast

The winner is Us

We’re the middle children of history…. no purpose or place.  We have no Great War, no Great Depression.  Our great war is a spiritual war.  Our great depression is our lives.  ~From the movie Fight Club, about Generation X

Us- Prescription drugs
Them- Woodstock

The winner is Us

Us- Chris Berman
Them- Vin Scully

The winner is Them . . in a landslide

Us- Adam Richman
Them- Atom Bomb

The winner is Us

Us- Charlie Sheen
Viet Cong

The winner is Oliver Stone

Us-Martini Bars
Martini Bars

The winner is my belief in a higher power

Us- Infomercials                                                         
Them- Test patterns

The winner is Them

Us- Zombies
Them- Bomb Shelters

The winner is Us

Us- Marilyn Manson
Them- Marilyn Monroe

The winner is Them

Us- Hulu
Them- Hula Hoop

The winner is Us

Well, it seems we have a tie in this trans-generational tug ‘o war. Now, I could break the tie, but that would require me to take the red pill and I just can’t do that on an empty stomach.

For the kids out there who stuck with me, here’s a little advice from that sage of song- Bob Dylan- who implored the younger generation to never trust anyone over thirty. Or was it Hugh Hefner who said don’t sleep with anyone over thirty? No wait, I think it was Adam Sandler who said don’t work with any directors whose IQ’s are over thirty . . .


12 thoughts on “Warhol vs WalMart: The Steel-Age Match

  1. Whoa! I don’t think I am that old! It looks like my parent’s generation….Besides I was accused of being 14 years old last week after helping someone with the social network. It’s all relative you Gen Xer you!

  2. This was hilarious! Although I am embarrassed about Ryan Seacrest … I mean they had Bob Hope and we have that dude. So sad. Vin Scully … yeah definitely them. But at least we have Mob Week on AMC 🙂 That has to count for something.

    • Guat- And speaking of pretty….
      As far as Ryan Seacrest goes, I used to hate him until I met him in Manhattan. It was a quick dash chat to a taxi, but it stuck. He’s so nice and completely unimpressed with his fame. Very real guy. God, how I hate that!
      Vin Scully? This Yankee fan is jealous of you LA peeps for having that voice on command. We get John Sterling, which just ain’t fair.
      And Mob Week? Now you’re scrathing the itch, aint’cha?

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