If you’re going to wish upon a star, bring friends

Mark Twain once wrote, that partaking of a McRib sandwich is akin to eating shoe leather cause you’ve got a hankering for salt. Okay, he didn’t write that. But he might have if he was living inside the age of the Big Gulp.

That was my opening salvo in a McRib post I was writing a couple nights ago, before rushing my mother into the ER. She was experiencing the onset of a stroke, but by the grace of the Cosmos bookkeeper, we got it in time.

Time is the most valuable commodity we have in our everyday lives, and it’s platinum squared when it comes to strokes. But for my mother calling me up rather than sleeping on it the other night, may have been the difference between driving her home from Thomas Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia yesterday evening. And not.

There are a bunch of instances where the better safe than sorry theorem ain’t worth abiding by. Stuff like skiing, Vegas, story arcs, Martinis or falling in love. But when it comes to heeding the warning signs of a possible stroke, there’s no room, or time, for chance.

I don’t want to leave you hanging on my McRib review, so here’s the unabridged version: It sucked. Funny thing too, since the McDonald’s website lists 101 reasons why you should eat a McRib. As far as truth in advertising is concerned, it’s a big fat fib slathered in barbecue sauce. A fatter fib than Jay Z’s 99 problems, even.

It’s my fault, really. Since my culinary sojourns over this bachelor’s holiday consisted of extra strength coffee, bucco sandwich experiments and date night with the golden arches.

Anyways, maybe it was a bad year for indeterminate meat products, I don’t know. All I know is that I went from super sizing my meaty outrage to a super sigh of relief over how these past few days have played out. And I wanted to say thank you, to everyone reading this on the other end of the line.

My post “Good Thoughts” came from something my mother said to me. She simply asked me to keep good thoughts, and since I wasn’t ready to share with those who were within my arm’s reach at that particular moment in time, I came to a place I knew I could count on every bit as much.

In a world full of crazy, it’s nice to have a place like that.

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16 thoughts on “If you’re going to wish upon a star, bring friends

  1. I am so glad to hear that your mom got to the ER in time. I just gave the list of warning signs to my mom yesterday.
    I saw a commercial for the McRib sandwich last night and said to Danny, “That really looks gross…”

  2. Susie- It’s important for all of us to heed the warning signs. You just never know. And in defense of the McRib, some years are better than others. Last year was pretty good, this one, not so much.

  3. I’m glad your mother is okay, Cayman.

    McRibs are awful, but I get taken by the “for a limited time only” ploy. You are right about this year not being the best for them. Bllll-eck!

    Best wishes for a wonderful New Year!

  4. Ditto on what everyone else said regarding your mother. Good son, good speed. Time was of the essence and you pulled it off.

    On the McRib – I keep reading how everyone thinks they suck. I’ve never had one, but I’m will to take your word on this. Thanks for the warning!

  5. Mary- I’m a McDonald’s fan, in moderation-much. And I have been a McRib fan for the past several years. It’s an annual excursion. Sorta like the Lexus thing, only with barbecue sauce.
    As for your well wishing, I’m just gonna say thanks. Big thanks.

  6. Wishing good vibes to your Mom and her recovery. Cheers for you be available for the transportation. Meanwhile, when did the initial McRib come forth … 20 years ago? Well, I haven’t had one since – so thanks for giving me reason to continue my streak.

    Off topic – Happy New Year to you!

    • Frank- Thank you in bunches. The McRib made its debut in the ’80’s. One of the genius marketing campaigns of all time ensued. It’s tradition for me to have one each year, for whatever that’s worth.
      All the best in the New Year to you as well.

  7. You are absolutely right … “Time is the most valuable commodity we have in our everyday lives, and it’s platinum squared …” And your mom was right about the good thoughts … so here’s hoping you had a good New Year’s Day with mom and stayed away from the McRibs.

  8. I’m happy to learn that your mom will be okay. What a scary experience. I just ordered the Life Alert for my mother who is now afraid of falling. It’s not 100% foolproof, but it’s peace of mind in a lot of ways.

    I have never tried the McRib, but I’ll take your word for it. 🙂

  9. 4am- Thank you so much. The Life Alert is something I want to get for my mother, because of the peace of mind it affords.
    I’m giving the McRib one more chance next fall to convince me our annual tryst is worth holding on to. Maybe we just grew apart, I don’t know….

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