Grits vs Guilt

ND vs BamaAs the Fighting Irish prepare to moon the Tide over Miami on January 7th, I’m throwing down with the lovely Joanna at Khamillion on the outcome of the latest “Game of the Century”

‘Bama girl told me to go first, which can only mean she’s going to clobber me on the rebuttal. And to make matters worse, I’ll never be able to step foot inside a Waffle House again.

Oh well, here goes something . . .

Best Religious Figure:

The Irish play under the watchful eye of Touchdown Jesus. The Crimson Tide play under the watchful eye of the Coaching God, Nick Saban. Okay . . .A Tie.

Best Tag Line:

The Irish go slap happy with “Play Like a Champion Today” while ‘Bama simply has “Roll Tide”. For the sake of brevity and coolness, ‘Bama wins

High Tide Musical Interlude? Sure, why not . . .

In the interest of fairness and Finnegan . . .

Best Namesake Drink:

Those guys have the Alabama Slammer, while us guys . . have everything else. When it comes to drinking, the Irish are astronauts; high all the time, and experts. High five this Irish win

Most Famous Player:

The Crimson Tide had a guy by the name of Joe Willie Namath before his Willie was stolen on Broadway some years later. The Irish had “Rudy”, who, turns out was a Hobbit.  ‘Bama wins

Sexiest Fan on January 7th: Cayman or Joanna?

Joanna is an Alabama girl, whose sexy is illegal in some states, or at least that’s how the story goes. This one was really close, but ‘Bama wins

Best Player Graduation Rate:

Notre Dame is tops in the nation with a 97 percent graduation rate. The Crimson Tide . . . do they go to class? Irish win

Snarkiest Fans:

I’m new at this Notre Dame thing, but I have the obnoxious part down already. Score another Irish win

Best Coaching Rumor:

Brian Kelly is a college coach.  Nick Saban is a college coach too, but for possible openings in Cleveland/New York/San Diego/Philly and wherever else. He’ll deny interest, which only makes things more interesting. ‘Bama wins

Best Game day Breakfast:

The Crimson Tide goes with grits. The Irish know a Guinness is meal enough. If you really had to wonder whether the Irish win this round? You’re on the wrong blog, Paula Deen is right next door.

Prediction: By a Notre Dame Fan with Temp Tags . . .

The Irish take all their talents to Miami and win 31-23, after which coach Brian Kelly is given a new 100 year contract- in honor of St. Patrick. Immediately following the loss, Nick Saban announces that he is NOT leaving Alabama . . . and a day later is introduced as the new Head Coach/GM/President of? . . . .


16 thoughts on “Grits vs Guilt

    • Well, ‘Bama, it was a close game until kickoff. I kept waiting for touchdown Jesus to make the scene, but he must’ve gotten tied up on the Florida Turnpike. On the bright side, I think Waffle House will take me back for comic relief.
      Oh wait . . . Alabama just scored again.

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