Too much to catch up on, so I’m gonna play Name that Caption with Umbrella-Gate. Otherwise known as “Sarah Palin Never Gets Tired of Saying Really Stupid Shit”. I know it’s two week old news, hence the caption game. So here then, five things President Obama might’ve said . . . .
5- Yes, I like the Weather Girls. No, I do not own any of their music.
4- That stuff about being struck down by a bolt of lightning if you’re lying . . . that’s an urban legend . . . right?
3- I told you guys we should’ve held this press conference at Hooters
2- Do you think Iron man gets rusty?
1- Hey guys! W is up on the roof again!
And now for a quick sampling of the news that wasn’t . . .
Brooklyn Bridge shut down– An abandoned car with no license plate or VIN shuts down the Brooklyn bridge? Great! Now the terrorists are messing with our freedom to steal a car and hit a chop shop.
Fast and Furious wins box office- This is the 6th installment in the series. I won’t see the movies until I read the books, if you get my . . umm, drift?
China’s still trying to kill America– It’s one thing to sell defective toys, crafts and lumber. We might be able to forgive that. Mess with our Happy Hour and you better kill us, and at 110 proof? It very well might. This Chinese baijiu makes tequila taste like Sprite in comparison. Doing shots usually means stripping your clothes off, not your insides.
Whopper + Hands Free Device = The human race officially has more time on its hands than it knows what to do with!– I mean, a hands free device for your phone I understand. But the only way a hands free device works for a Whopper is if it’s attached to the front of a treadmill.
And finally . . . My favorite YouTube video this week makes me wanna grow a ‘stache just so I can walk around telling people how hard it is being me. And most importantly . . why.