If you don’t see the humor in NFL headlines, you’re doing it wrong

Fat Guy KickingFootball season is that time of year when we give thanks to cheese dip, wings and sick days. Over five magical months, we’re allowed to use profane language in public venues, forego all family obligations, make stereotypical observations about other cities, use pizza as bribery and consider Tim Tebow to be a modern day parable.

Anyhoo, here are ‘ma headlines for the week that was.

Jaguars putrid offense contributes to last place finish in FIFA World Ranking

Steelers lose despite Trent Dilfer picking them to win

Jim Harbaugh’s jaw explodes in post game rant

Bucs season takes on feel of last ten minutes of “The Departed”

Panthers and Auburn discuss Cam Newton trade

Did you know? 

The Greek philosopher and mathematician, Plato, created the first Fantasy Football League. The idea went nowhere since the NFL had not been invented yet. Plato turned his attention to establishing the tenets of Western philosophy and base jumping with Larry King

Ravens thankful for unofficial bye week after Browns win

Fan Poll: Redskins name change should rhyme with ‘Suck’

Promising Cardinals season gives Suns fans something to look forward to

Peyton Manning on pace to shatter the word ‘Shatter’

Dolphins 2-0 for 1st time since John Kerry was anti-war

Texans using more lives than cat who lives next door to Chinese restaurant

Chiefs reward game ball to Dez Bryant’s hands

Jay Cutler’s clutch performance deals blow to Chicago sports talk radio

Did you know? 

It is projected that this year’s Super Bowl will take in more revenue than the Kardashians spend in an entire month!

Falcons defeat Rams in golf-like setting

Jets organization mulls career change

Chip Kelly Experiment: Even his defense is offensive! 


16 thoughts on “If you don’t see the humor in NFL headlines, you’re doing it wrong

    • Handsome, you’re so silly. Of COURSE it isn’t. The government isn’t watching football games….or checking Facebook….or reading innocuous blog posts about professional football. Silly man.
      PS- They know you’re on to them. Run.

  1. LOL. I have never seen that bad lip reading video before. What a riot. I have to say, I met Chip Kelly when he was the coach for UNH a few years ago. I interviewed him for the novel I was working on at the time (one of the protags is a college fb player). He’s kind of a local celebrity around these parts, whether or not he deserves it. From rumors I’ve heard, he doesn’t really deserve it, ahem.

    • The lip reading vids are so funny. They’ve got a host of ’em at the ready for when you have time to kill. Which, in your case, ain’t happening. So you interviewed Chip Kelly, huh? That’s a really nice get. He’s more than a local celebrity, he’s been hailed as the next big thing in the NFL. I’m holding off on that chatter for now, though. I think Chip will be back in school within 3 years.

  2. I love having witty friends; I feel witty by extension.

    Still trying to wrap my head around the Richardson trade. I’ve got him in one of my FF leagues, so I think I’m glad about the trade. I feeling pretty “luck”-y. Haha.

    And apparently they’re holding pro-Tebow pep rallies in Jax? I’d sign him just to sell some seats for tv rights. But that’s more in line with your football/war/big biz post…

    Happy Weekend, Christy

    • Christy,
      On top of being a charming, funny, talented babe . . you’re also humble. Just face the fact that you’re right out of a John Hughes flick- the hot rebel chick with the quick turnaround on her verbs.
      As for the T-Rich trade, I like it. He was a 65 ypg RB in Cleveland…where they have no O-line or QB. Now he goes to a team with a QB and some weapons surrounding him. The whole thing with this kid is staying healthy. If he can do that, I say he improves. Now he has a chance. And Tebow? I love this guy. I cannot for the life of me understand why the Jags won’t let this guy be their QB for the rest of the season. Win or lose, they’ll be relevant, something they most certainly are not right now. Unless you consider the 0-16 talk to stand for relevancy.

      Happy Weekend back atcha

      • You’re just kidding again, right?
        John Hughes, perchance. Not sure which flick though; I’m sure there’s a Facebook quiz somewhere I can take that will tell me. Maybe “Weird Science”–but as one of the nerds, hahaha.
        Agreed on T-Rich. I think Cleveland screwed themselves, but T-Rich was no doubt suffering there (as were my fantasy numbers). Not sure of C’land motive, other than Haslam trying to prove he’s smarter than Holgrem. I dunno. I just cheer for the pretty helmets and tight pants. I’m flip-flopping on starting T this weekend; right now, I’m going with Rogers at ATL. I think ATL may have Miami’s number.
        Jax should sign Tebow and make him the new team mascot. The Jacksonville Tebows. As a GA girl, I don’t want to like him, but he’s just too damn, well, likeable. As an athlete, it’s hard not to admire his tenacity.

        • I believe you’re a 2K version of the John Hughes hot chick. An amalgam of previous hotness, which oh by the way, includes the nerdy qualities us guys love.

          On the T-Rich front, I think the Browns are strategizing their way to the top of the draft board next season, where a promising crop of passers awaits. They’re still kicking themselves over letting RG out from under them when the ‘Skins swooped in and nabbed the pick a couple years back. I love the Browns uni’s, btw. Ugly football duds are the coolest.

          I’m hoping you’re wrong about Hot-Lanta having the fins number. I want 3-0, especially since we have tough games coming up against the Saints and Ravens. I’ll feel a lot better if we win Sunday.

          I love Tebow. I had no love for him when he was winning titles at Florida, but as soon as he started playing next level ball, I said to myself, “This guy sucks! But he wins! I love him!” And I’ve been in Tebow love ever since. I find it hilarious how polarizing a figure the kid is, while other NFL players can get away with murder (literally), compile multiple DUI’s, assault anyone in their paths….and they are accepted back into the fold without a sniffle. It’s a bullshit double standard. Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox.

          Happy running

          • Preach on, my friend, I’ve often wondered the same thing. And yeah–why did Fox drop him?! He WON games!. But things worked out okay for Denver, LOL.

            I think something happens behind the scenes in those locker rooms or something–not like “that”–but Tebow I think makes others feel inferior or gives them complexes. Just a feeling.

            Have a good day! -c

            • Eh, the Broncos decided to go with that bum, Peyton. What has HE ever done, Aside from break bucco passing records, get to a couple Super Bowls and guarantee his enshrinement in the HOF?
              I think the guys in the locker room really do believe Jesus is watching them when Tebow is in there. And the way most NFL players go about their business, that’s not a cool feeling to be having.

  3. Ha! These are great. My favorite would have to be “Peyton Manning on pace to shatter the word ‘Shatter’” I would like to think so 🙂 And that video is too funny. Hadn’t seen it yet 🙂

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