It’s tough to step away from the computer sometimes. Especially when most of your stuff lives there. Despite the fact I’m not the most plugged in of peeps, I still have plenty of stuff that takes up residence on my computer and to which I go running before the drip has gone dry on my coffee maker.
Yesterday, I changed things up. I played keep away.
No emails. No writing. No Huff Post. No blog hopping, no YouTube, no recipe searching . . . no fandango, Google searches or Merriam Webster.com. No Sporcle or music lists. Nada colada. All day long.
Lazy met lovely, and they had a beautiful baby. Translation? I enjoyed it. And here are some things I learned over the course of a leisurely Saturday.
. . . At the Humane League, I learned that you don’t pet a cat while they’re busy eating. And if you play tug of war with a pit bull? Let them win, even if you’re relatively certain you can win, because you really can’t win. And walking a Boxer/Terrier/Jack Russell mix puppy is akin to walking a five hour energy drink that is hopped up on . . other energy drinks.
. . . I discovered a county park in my morning run. I was waiting for the girl to finish up her stint at the Humane League. She’s on the cleanup crew so her time tends to run longer than us dog walkers. I like to run in unfamiliar territory when I can, just to change things up, so this park was pay dirt. I used the cozy confines, undisturbed by another living soul until a late model Audi made the scene, after which I made even better time getting the hell out of there. Hey, I’ve read enough thrillers to understand I was going to end up in someone’s basement singing nursery rhymes and drinking from a morphine drip if I stuck around.
. . . Tried the old diner trick for fluffier omelettes. I added a tablespoon of pancake batter. It works! I think!
Things you believe when you can’t use Google for verification:
-Brad Pitt once played minor league baseball for the New York Mets
-Chris Christie used to be a toll booth operator
-The term “Made in America” is made in China
-If a hyena and a tanning bed made a baby, it would look like Snooki
-Neil Armstrong found a half eaten bag of M&M’s on the moon
-Russia is two months ahead, which means they’ve already held the Winter Olympics.
. . . I learned that I can still hold my son’s attention, thanks to a four hour phone conversation. We talked on everything from Bridge-Gate to Benghazi and while we didn’t solve any of the world’s problems, we had a few thoughts.
Like . .
-If Harvey Weinstein is really serious about bank rolling films sans gun violence, strychnine stocks will soar, right?
-Journalism has become one big selfie.
-Vladimir Putin needs a publicist.
-In pro sports, nothing pisses fans off more than teams that spend freely, free agents who bolt for greener pastures and teams that relocate. Unless . . it’s happening in their town, in which case it’s cool.
-Ted Williams would’ve been miserable playing in today’s 24/7 sports coverage world
-People who talk about the 2016 Presidential race as if they really have any idea what’s going to happen? They sound dumber than Kanye West.
-It really is impossible to look mature when you’re eating Cap’n Crunch.
-Morrissey could be Pope if music had such a leader.
. . . The Last Stand with Arnold is a surprisingly good action flick.
. . . The King’s Speech gets better each and every time I watch it.
. . .SportsCenter? Doesn’t.
At the end of the day, I realized how much I still need the internet if I want to live off the grid at some later date (Ironic, huh?). How else am I gonna figure out how to build a tree house with indoor plumbing and a beer tap? In Vera Farmiga’s neighborhood?