Hell if I can’t muster up the rage so many people are feeling over “Deflate-Gate”. I know, this isn’t the first time the Patriots have cheated the rules. And I know, over the last decade they have achieved a level of villainy right up there with the Yankees, Darth Vader and Cheesecake Factory serving sizes. They win with more regularity than Charlie Sheen’s little black book. They win with a coach whose reputation is shadier than the most ruthless Capo di tutti capi; with a quarterback whose life makes Brad Pitt’s look ordinary. And sometimes it seems as if they’re never going to stop winning, by whatever means possible.
The Patriots had the, umm . . . balls to try and gain a competitive advantage? Welcome to sports.
I don’t have to be a Patriots fan to appreciate the resonant quality of this organization, even with the most casual of fans. The Patriots are intriguing in a way most teams- my Dolphins included- can only dream of. All that winning amid all the questions as to how they went about their business, it engenders a deep seated enmity that will only grow more interesting as time goes on. Forget box scores, the Patriots are a political op-ed.
If a story came out tomorrow that the Jags deflated footballs, or the Jets spied on other team’s practices . . it wouldn’t even move the needle. Because those teams are the bottom of the food chain. And there ain’t no sexy in that. Tom Brady is the easy target, after all. He’s got the perfect smile, a Hall of Fame resume, and he wins the Super Bowl . . like, every night.
And am I the only one who finds irony in the fact that, of all these “Gates” New England has been linked to, they were basically given a pass for Aaron Hernandez? Which is precisely why I’m okay with applying some moral relativism to the New England Patriots of Brady and Bellichick when it comes to their on field shenanigans.
I could go all Chapelle on these NFL players who whine about the integrity of the game being compromised by deflated balls, but that’s too easy. Instead, I’d like to ask them one simple question: If Tom Brady is such a horrible guy because he didn’t fess up to his PSI preferences when given the chance to tell the truth . . why don’t they consider Ray Lewis a horrible guy for not fessing up to what he knew about a murder, when given a chance to tell the truth? Sanctimonious? Meet bullshit.
It strikes me, that if the proper PSI of a game used football was such a big deal, then the league probably should have been keeping tabs on it from the get. And all these players who are busy piling on the Patriots now should probably do what the league wasn’t doing.
Grow some balls.