The 73rd Annual Vera Farmiga Invitational

Vera ListWith temps chillier than Kris Kardashian’s undergarments, it’s high time for another list of hot chicas, served up by yours truly. I tried reaching Vera Farmiga- again- in the hopes that she might be interested in writing the foreword to this post, but she declined. Actually . . her husband declined. And then her lawyer declined . . and then, yeah . . the authorities, they felt the need to get all up in ‘ma business.

Anyways . . . on with the show!

Eva Green- The ivory skin. The boil that purrs below her surface. The way she strikes you with that wicked glance . . and the British accent. And so, you mean to tell me if the colonies had lost the Revolutionary War, we’d have even more of that going on over here right now? What the fuck were we thinking?

Katie Seagal- She’s the Lady MacBeth of biker babes. And she’s sexier than ever. And speaking of SOA babes . . .

Ally Walker- How do I put this nicely? Her character on Sons was a total cunt. She made bikers cringe, she made men get down on their knees to satisfy her needs. I’ll take your 50 Shades of Grey and I’ll raise you her.

Natasha Henstridge- Speaking of bad girls, she plays the kind of hard core bitch that makes this boy swoon. She’d toss her lover in a compactor if he didn’t master her domain. I’m in deep love with that kind of sexy.

JNatashaada Pinkett Smith- Since I’m on a mean sexy streak, I’d be remiss if I didn’t include JP Smooth. The way she plays Fish Mooney on Gotham . . well, I have to believe that’s what you’d be getting late in the night. Some Victoria’s Secret, with Barry White running the turn table, and a bottle of bub sitting on the bedside table. Okay, where was I?

Julianna Margulies- Elegance? Check. Sophistication? Check. Confidence? Check. Beauty? Check . . . You get ‘me point, the woman is Boss. (Fun Fact: Carol Hathaway, the character she played on ER, was set to be killed off early on, but the show’s writers came to their senses and she ended up hanging around for six season, becoming the only actor on the long running hit show to win an Emmy.) Sexy? Check!

Lauren Cohen- As Maggie on Walking Dead, Cohen provides a deft combination of muscle and smarts. It’s been a slow and beautiful burn since we first met her on the farm back in season 2. Not to mention, yeah . . . the British accent.

Stacey Dash- Those caramel eyes could talk me into anything. The rest of her would just seal the deal.

Rosario Dawson- My mouth waters whenever I utter her name aloud. Rosario . . . Rosario . . Alright, that’s enough. My cat’s giving me this look that’s basically saying, “Maybe it’s a good thing you cut my business off, dude . . .”

Sara Bareilles- I have this dream that the zombie apocalypse has arrived, and she’s my girlfriend. Sara sings me to sleep every night after three hour love sessions by the fire. And then I wake up. And I realize . . no zombie apocalypse yet. Zombies are fucking slackers.

CobieCobie Smulders- She’s simply my latest guilty pleasure on a show (How I Met Your Mother) I swore I would never watch but am currently binge watching. She can come off as indifferent, but that’s only cause you need to do your homework in order to gain her extra credit. Her sense of humor is drier than a gin martini on a budget and when her laugh comes out to play? Ballgame.

Kelly Brook- Oh my God, the eyes. The hair. The ample bosom. The . . where the hell was I? Oh yeah, the everything about her. She plays demure to the loveliest conclusion this side of a California sunset. And the British accent, oh my God . . .

Welp, that does it for my latest installment of what’s hot. I’d like to thank Vera Farmiga for her lovely inspiration, as per usual. And remember kids, if you got shades on during sex? You’re doing it wrong. . .




20 thoughts on “The 73rd Annual Vera Farmiga Invitational

  1. I don’t think I’ve ever done it with my shades on! Ha!
    That is quite a list and a lot of beauty contained in one blog post.
    Getting ready for Valentine’s Day? One week from today!

  2. Excellent post, Pilgrim. I would amend the chilly weather metaphor underwear owner to Bruce Jenner. Otherwise great choices. I’m surprised Vera didn’t accept the forward assignment even though I’m sure yo were too forward in presenting it. Her loss.

    • Handsome- Damn if you don’t always have the best comeback to my slam. I’ve got a tune for how we’d have it if we was doing shots at last call. It’s the best my forty eight year old self can do at gangstah. Forgive me.

    • This is more of the “Too good to be true” than E-Harmony promised me! Sorry, that was a ‘lil too close for comfort. On both our counts. So how about this? Hey ‘bro! Great vid! How’s that?
      PS- Don’t leave another video. That might raise suspicions…

  3. There’s a lot of lookers in this one that’s for sure, but I can’t get my head wrapped around Margulies … her character on The Good Wife burns me out, dude no one would stay with that dude after all that. What about a stronger chic … Like Miranda Lambert? I think Vera would approve.

  4. Hey there … sorry I haven’t been around … but I picked a great one for a return. Actually used Google Images for each … and I notice the group has a certain look that obviously catches your attention. Well done, sir!

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