As it turns out . . . size really does matter.
I mean . . we were pretty well aware of this fact by now, but it figures that President Trump (I still feel like I’m living inside a Sharknado movie when I say that) would be the one to hang every man’s most obvious fear out to dry by holding a press conference! And he didn’t waste any time in doing so, going on the offensive just days after his inauguration by way of the time honored male tradition whereby we round off to the highest number . . and then add some more numbers. Only, Trump wasn’t interested in a game of inches, he was intent on breaking inauguration attendance records. In spite of the fact he wasn’t even close and oh by the way. . . no one was giving a shit.
Basically, Trump took a hamburger and tried to sell it as the Grand Mac.
Yeah, of the myriad critiques one might toss in the direction of Trump’s new crib, I’m pretty sure his inauguration attendance numbers were pretty far down the list, if they were on the list at all. But you never would’ve guessed it by the way Trump’s press secretary Sean Spicer talked up the size of the thing. He called it the “largest” . . . like “ever!” When the press corps rightly took him to task on such an imbecilic boast, he actually went even further by calling it “enormous”. He boasted that whether you were looking at it in the flesh or over social media, it was bigger than the other guy’s. Any attempts to downsize his magnifying glass multiplication were met with more artificially enlarged proclamations. I really don’t give a flying fiat that Spicer was simply doing the bidding of his Boss, he didn’t have to be such a dick about it.
LBJ could be a real prick when it came to certain members of the press corps, but he never would’ve pulled a stunt like this. And yes, that was my juvenile way of getting Johnson into this post (had to). Hey, it was either that or a Bush joke so . . you’re welcome.
Long story short, I’m guessing most guys won’t be all that upset about it, because Trump’s latest pickle does kinda take the heat off any dude who cheats on his . . . ahem . . return by a couple inches. Really, what are a few inches when compared to half a million people anyways? And besides, it introduced a new word to the vernacular of penis jokes.
Streaming is the new shrinkage.