A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away . . . Tampa, the galaxy was Tampa . . .
It is a period of civil war among fans and voters alike, and the South- or more specifically the SEC- finds its stranglehold on the college football universe weakening. The Clemson Tigers, having come so close to defeating the Evil College Football Empire known as the Alabama Crimson Tide in the year 2016, have returned once again with young Jedi Deshaun Watson leading the rebellion.
Lord Saban’s death grip on the galaxy has been questioned by certain members of his own council as a result of his decision to banish his top commander Lane Kiffin to the outpost of Florida Atlantic for the high crime of douchebaggery. Kiffin was replaced with Lieutenant Sarkisian; formerly of the Planet Troy.
The young Watson was courted by Lord Saban after his senior year of high school in Gainesville Georgia, but decided against joining the dark side and now he finds his college football legacy hanging in the balance as the Evil Empire takes a double digit lead into the fourth quarter. During this battle, the Leader of the Rebellion- Dabo Swinney- manages to stall the Evil Empire’s game plan to milk the clock and win yet another national championship in the process. A double digit lead evaporates and the- pun alert- Tide begins to turn in favor of the rebels. Swinney leads his soldiers back against the seemingly far superior storm troopers with nothing more than a Waffle House menu in his grip and the famous words of Jedi Master, Yoda Lee Corso in his heart. Not so fast. And yeah, he has that young Jedi Deshaun Watson doing his thing . . which helps a shit ton.
Not to be outdone, Jalen Hurts is a Knight of the First Order with mad skills. As with Watson, Hurts is quite young but the force is also very strong with him. Hurts however, has used his powers for evil rather than mediocrity (he could’ve gone to Texas A&M). His mission is to crush the Alliance for once and for all and to establish a reign even Bill Belichick would be impressed with . . . maybe. And as the battle enters its final stages, it appears as if Hurts will do just that after he breaks straight up the middle and scores with two minutes remaining.
But then, with six seconds separating the Evil Empire from a victory which would seal the fate of the college football galaxy for yet another season, Deshaun Watson rolls to his right and as he does so, he can hear Yoda Lee Corso’s words . . The LSU Tigers are gonna win the national championship, you can book it!. No, no, no . . not those words . . these words. The force is strong . . and hey! That Renfro kid is open! Deshaun connects with wide receiver Hunter Renfrow with one second remaining on the clock and Clemson fans begin to celebrate, even if there is still time enough for the Crimson Tide to squash this rebellion. Because really, one second on the clock is a fucking lifetime in college football. As any Georgia Bulldog fan would tell you, in between curse words.
The rebels have one last trick up their sleeve, however. Rather than kicking the ball deep, after which they would have to give chase to their evil counterparts for a solid twenty minutes of lateral advancements, they utilize an onside kick which they recover to seal the victory. As the clock expires, Deshaun Watson lets a call from the New York Jets go to voicemail, Dabo Swinney orders the All Star Special off his Waffle House menu and Lord Saban ponders what life would be like in LA.
The Alliance has a new hope . . at least until Lord Saban decides to give the NFL another try which opens the door for Dabo to take over.
Well, it certainly makes football a bit easier to follow!
It does, doesn’t it? 😉
What a GAME! Much easier to watch and enjoy when your heart isn’t bleeding for either side. #BillSnyderforPrez
It took me some time to figure out who Bill Snyder was, and then of course I knew it was the Kansas State head coach. Right? Didn’t he retire and then come back? Is he retired again? Anyways, yes, it was a hell of a game. And I even stayed up for the whole thing!
You got it! He retired, the team fell into short ruin, then he came back and fixed them again 🙂
So basically what you’re saying is they best keep this guy alive, like . . forever.
Yeah – like at least until my son gets to play for him (hey…Jordy Nelson started as unknown walk-on for Bill).
I did not know that. And man, that is gonna be the dream come true! Your boy on Snyder’s squad. Booya!
I’m disappointed that I never turned it on. I was spending minimal effort monitoring it on-line and it seemed to be a snoozefest with Alabama up 17-7 for what seemed like forever and I thought “well, that seems to be it. no need to turn the game on.” I logged on to the ol’ interwebs in the morning and saw I missed a thriller. Damn internet!
It is all about the second half with these two teams it seems. Well, namely Clemson. They seemed to wear down the ‘Bama D as the game went on. I love this Deshaun kid. He needs work for sure, but what kid in college doesn’t? lol.
It seems like it is all about the second half with most football games these days. I don’t watch much college football, but far too many NFL games go like the title game went. Very little first half scoring and then all of a sudden you look up and its 35-31.
Second half football is where it’s at.
I watched the game and i love your play by play. I could not stand another Saban win. I still can’t talk from yelling my guts out for four quarters. Nice job Pilgrim.
Not a Saban fun, huh? I guess I’m in the minority in that I kinda dig him. But remember, I’m the Darth Vader fan, so there’s that.
I could have bet you liked him. He’s the less talk more action type, but I just think it’s time to outmaneuver, and outplay him. I have nothing against the man I think he is a hell of a coach.
I just think to myself, we’re watching a guy who is going to go down as probably the best college coach of all time. I mean, he’s doing what Bear Bryant did with much exponentially more competition and challenges that Bear never had to deal with. But not for nothing, this Dabo Swinney was dead even with him last year and beat him this year. Not to mention Dabo. completely out coached another pretty good coach named Urban in the semi’s.
You are a wise man, Pilgrim. I completely agree with you.:-) *sigh* Maybe I haven’t gotten over the Notre Dame trouncing a few years ago. My bad.
Hey…I made a bet with another blogger over that game. I had the Irish, lol.
Yeah, show what a true guy you are. i din’t lose money I lost pride. there was some Alabama fan texting me about the Notre Dame shiney-assed helmets and wondering if the pope wanted to sign up to go to Alabama. I had to take it all.
I didn’t bet money, I think we just bet “bragging rights” on our respective blogs? I forget now. I don’t forget the outcome of the game however, lol.
I know what you mean. 😀
I loved everything about this…except for one little second, I mean thing.
It will be a different story next year, babe. The Dawgs are on the upswing, they have Brett Favre Jr at QB, and that Richt guy is in Miami partying with Odell. 😉